Fools’ Blood

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS x VOX MACHINA

In the Synthetic Universe, there’s a world where sorcerers are saucy, vampires are a pain in the neck and everyone is clawing to be on top.

Ramses Niblet III, one such vampire and the world’s one and only literal cat burglar, has found the thrill slowly draining from his pursuit of feline fugitives faster than he can drain their blood. There’s just no challenge in breaking into old grannies’ apartments and stealing away their beloved furballs anymore. That is, until he discovers there’s a new vampire prince ruling the town and he has a cat called Sparkles. Suddenly, sneaking into the most secure building in Undead Briton and doing away with the leader of the worldwide feline conspiracy he’s tried so hard to convince everyone of is his only goal and nothing is going to stop him. Not his clan. Not his friends (and not just because they’re all imaginary), not his slightly gimpy leg, nor the gimp down the street—and certainly not a pesky civil war, dragon, tribe of invading werewolves, mummy searching for her past, pyromaniac who might just be crazier than him, terrible truths or a resurrected vampire lord, all of which seem to be very inconveniently timed.

He’s gonna prove that vampires really don’t need Sparkles if it kills him… again!

Fools’ Blood is a wacky, witty and weally, weally clever tale of one determined, undead man standing against a world slightly less insane than him. It blends supernatural mythology with comic characters, ridiculous action and hidden twists with jokes that’d be at home in a British sitcom.

Praise for Emma Jun’s writing:

"Witty and clever" - Darley Anderson Literary Agency

"So much voice, and the dialogue...is so good I had to shout it out" - Ian Evans, SF author

"As intriguing as it is hilarious" - Midwest Book Reviews

"Never, ever boring" - Amanda Richards, Top Amazon Reviewer

"It's very clever and definitely different from anything I've read before" - Aoiffe Ni Coining-Duibhginn, Folklorist

"It was such a hoot to read... [Jun] has quite an imagination" - Rebecca's Reads

"I highly recommend this read" - Mind Fog Reviews

"I was hooked from the first minute... It's just that good!" - Kasey's View

"[Jun's] take on supernatural and fantasy is original and whimsical. A promising young writer." - Lulu Book Reviews

WARNING! This book features heavy satirical and irreverent humour—that’s when the author show’s the bad thing in such a silly and exaggerated way as to highlight how stupid and bad the bad thing is and sometimes yells at the bad thing directly, OK? It does not mean the author likes the bad thing. It also features some upsetting, comically timed endings for some little kitties. You have been warned. Hence the warning I just gave.

Also content warnings for frequent bloody fights, plenty of swear words, the occasionally slight sexy reference and many dated references.